Saturday, May 31, 2008
Now, here I am, ten years later, and that conversation rings clearly in my mind. I can still tell you where that conversation took place. For all the useless chattering we experience, why did that dialogue stick?
I suppose it could be said that it is selfish to want friends... want a spouse, want a good job, want good health, want contentedness. So is it selfish to want a child? Yes, I suppose, to some extent. We did want a little person in our lives. Dan wanted a little son or daughter to invest in, to "send into a future we wouldn't see." But any (and every!) mother and father will tell you that serving a screaming infant in the middle of the night or a toddler that has a bout of diarrhea isn't selfish!
I read blogs about couples experiencing initial infertility problems... just trying to just get one little baby. I feel guilty because we do have a terrific little boy and yet we know our family isn't complete.
The couple that passed the comment all those years ago is now past their childbearing years. Now, I feel sorry for them. I'm sorry for all the moments they've missed because they believed that what they thought was true.
I know this journey is a process and telling myself that wanting another child isn't selfish is just part of it.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
SF Zoo- Tuesday
The gang: Russell (his hat was in the car. Oops.), Jack, Claire and Grace. Little Maddie joined us later for lunch with her mom, Julie.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
MARIA SUE CHAPMAN, DAUGHTER OF STEVEN CURTIS CHAPMAN, DIES IN ACCIDENT AT FAMILY HOME
At approximately 5pm on the afternoon of Wednesday May 21st, Maria Sue Chapman, 5 years old and the youngest daughter to Steven and Mary Beth Chapman was struck in the driveway of the Chapman home in Franklin, TN. Maria was rushed to Vanderbilt Childrens Hospital in Nashville, transported by LifeFlight, but died of her injuries there. Maria is one of the close knit family’s six children and one of their three adopted daughters.
More than five years ago, Chapman and his wife MaryBeth founded The Shaohannah’s Hope Ministry after bringing their first adopted daughter, Shaohannah, home from China. The ministry’s goal is to help families reduce the financial barrier of adoption, and has provided grants to over 1700 families wishing to adopt orphans from around the world. Chapman is a five-time GRAMMY ® winner and 54-time Dove Award winning artist who has sold over 10 million albums and garnered 44 No. 1 singles.
The Chapman family is so grateful for the incredible outpouring of love and support at this difficult time.
If you’d like to meet Maria and express your condolences click here
By mail, send to PO Box 150156 Nashville, TN 37215.
In lieu of flowers, the Chapmans request any gifts be directed to Shaohannah’s Hope.
Little Maria is being held by Steven in this picture. Such tragedy is unbelievable. I can't imagine the sorrow that the son will have for the rest of his life over the accident. It is so hard to believe that all things work together for the good for those that love God in this situation.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Total tests done:
Factor V Leiden- negative
Homocysteine- normal (5.6)
MTHFR (hetero- A1298C)
Protein C- normal (88)
Protein S- normal (62)
Prothrombin 20210- negative
lupus anticoagulant- negative
3rd gen. TSH= 2.41 (normal)
Progesterone= 21.3 (normal)
Anti-Nuclear Antibodies- negative
Blood glucose- 83 (normal)
mycoplasma hominis- negative
ureaplasma urealyticum- negative
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
After all my research online and in books, I took my list of recommended (some, controversial) tests with me. The doctor called a reproductive endocrinologist in the area and he then ordered some of the tests I asked for, in addition to what the RE recommended. The doctor said there is a good likelihood of me having an immune problem of which I am not thrilled, but at this point, we are just looking for answers. We can deal with the solution later. The controversial tests/remedies (not covered by insurance) could run into the thousands financially speaking so we will not pursue those at this time.
From my experience last fall, the tests take awhile to get back once they've been taken.
All this to say, I feel encouraged. I feel like the doctor is taking me seriously, and not just assuming chromosomal abnormality (after four losses), although, I conceed, that is still a plausible reason. So, for now, we wait. I don't mind. I need to be still and remember that God is ultimately the giver and taker of life.
Friday, May 09, 2008
Michelle Duggar, 41, is due on New Year's Day, and the latest addition will join seven sisters and 10 brothers. There are two sets of twins.
"We've had three in January, three in December. Those two months are a busy time for us," she said, laughing.
The Duggars' oldest child, Josh, is 20, and the youngest, Jennifer, is nine months old.
The fast-growing family lives in Tontitown in northwest Arkansas in a 7,000-square-foot home. All the children — whose names start with the letter J — are home-schooled.
Duggar said she's six weeks along and the pregnancy is going well. She and her husband, Jim Bob Duggar, said they'll keep having children as long as God wills it.
"The success in a family is first off, a love for God, and secondly, treating each other like you want to be treated," Jim Bob Duggar said. "Our goal is for each one of our children to be best friends, and everybody working together to serve each other makes that happen."
The other Duggar children, in between Joshua and Jennifer, are Jana, 18; John-David, 18; Jill, 16; Jessa, 15; Jinger, 14; Joseph, 13; Josiah, 11; Joy-Anna, 10; Jeremiah, 9; Jedidiah, 9; Jason, 7; James, 6; Justin, 5; Jackson, 3; and Johannah, 9 months.
I wonder what it must be like to live in a family like the Duggars. Even being one of five children was sometimes difficult. Little privacy, lots of responsibility, and little one-on-one time with parents. On the plus side, there was always someone to tag around with. And get-togethers are more enjoyable considering we didn't have cousins growing up (Russell is older than my two youngest cousins).
The cost of living in California (well, in an overpopulated area) is high. I buy groceries twice a week (TJ's and Safeway) just because produce doesn't keep long (we eat a lot of berries and bananas and avacados) and I like to buy some junk food (chips, hot dogs, drinks) for the weekend when Dan is home. He puts up with the healthy meals during the week so I don't mind;-) Gas is now over $4/gallon. Thankfully, our gas bill is only about $150/month because Dan's commute is only 20 minutes and I just putter around town (we used to spend $40/month when we lived in SD and Dan was deployed and we only had the one car).
I suppose in Arkansas, providing for 18 children is still tight, but living on a farm would help. The land is pretty out there (in a flat, endless kinda way). Too far from an ocean, though. I went out to Arkansas in 1999 to visit friends from my days at Palomar Camp. With the solid foundation the Duggar children are getting, I am sure they will all succeed in where God leads them. I'm sure they know how to deal with selfishness!
So, how many automatic dishwashers to you think their house has???
Thursday, May 08, 2008
The conclusion of his findings? “After the loss of three or more miscarriages, women will, with no treatment, carry to term nearly 70% of the time.” (Assuming all tests give normal results: clotting problems, Rh factor, or other common diagnosis being treated.) This statement gives me hope. I’ve read pages and pages of unending statistics: first-born male stats, age stats, gestation stats, and stats about stats. The conclusion? The fact that a baby is conceived and delivered in full health is purely a miracle. Each. And. Every. Time.
I was amazed at Cohen’s research at IVF clinics that offered PGD (the testing and discarding of chromosomally abnormal embryos): most embryos were abnormal and had either too few or too many chromosomes. Most embryos are not normal, whether conceived in the lab or in utereo.
The sad truth that Cohen mentions is that there is comparatively little recent research about miscarriage because of the lack of funding from the government and pharmaceutical companies. There is no money to be made. Nature is nature and that is that. Any research that is done is usually because of personal interest and passion for RPL.
We have been asked how long we’ll keep trying for another child. I guess the answer to that question is “We don’t know.” If I had known what we would experience seventeen months ago, I don’t know if I would have had the strength to endure. I don’t know where we will be in our journey in 12 months, 24 months, or 36 months. The decision to not try again isn’t easy.
On the positive side, my pelvic ultrasound results came back and everything is normal. Wonderful. So why is this happening? We may never know. As my Bible study group continues to move through Daniel, I have loved the eschatology and the supremacy of God’s timing. I take comfort in that.
You ask if Cohen had a second child? He wife became pregnant (unplanned) at age 41 after ten years and delivered a little boy. She had another miracle baby at the age of 44 when she decided to end her years of birth control.
Saturday, May 03, 2008
(This video contains a little political jab at the end... that's another debate for another day.)
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Classic 'self portrait'!
Filling his shoes with sand.
Doing wheelies with Maddie in the stroller. She didn't seem to mind;-)
Russell scampered up onto the table before we even noticed:-) He loved being outdoors.
Russell was being a negative influence on Maddie. She was mesmorized by 'Curious George.'