Monday, April 06, 2009

Update

I didn't know what else to call this post, so I just wrote 'update.' To say that this is an announcement is an overstatement at this point. We are pregnant again. As of today, I'm 10w5d. Fetal heartbeat strong at 160 bpm. I take daily doses of Lovenox and Endometrin.

The crappy news? (Of course there is!) The pregnancy has situated itself in the upper right hand corner of my uterus near the fallopian tube. The muscle is thin (3mm) in that area (this is natural) and as the baby grows, it will stretch the muscle out. If I used expletives, there would be one here ___________.

My OB has referred us to a high-risk OB at Stanford in addition to seeing a perinatologist on the 17th.

Unofficially, there are three options. We'll wait for our high-risk consult before deciding...

1) Wait it out and hope that nothing happens- stats on this aren't probable.
2) Risk a high chance that my uterus will tear about the 17-20 week gestational mark. Fatal for baby and dicey for me.
3) Terminate the pregnancy before I lose my uterus and any hope of having another baby.

If you'd like to know how I feel, attach a ticking timebomb to your belly and see how it feels. I kinda angry right now. And really scared.

22 comments:

C. Beth said...

Oh, Hillary. I don't even know what to say except that I will pray for you, and I'm so sorry. I will pray for a miracle, that the baby will move and be safe. I'll pray for wisdom for you and Dan.

Tracy said...

Oh no, Hillary. That is so horrible. I'm so sorry that this couldn't just be easy this time around.

Praying for a miracle!

BagMomma said...

Oh, Hillary. It doesn't seem fair that you are faced with this. Just not fair at all. (hugs)

Annie said...

I don't know what to say either :( I wish you could have an easy, complication free pregnancy :(

Stacey said...

Hillary... I don't know what to say and I can't imagine how this must feel. I will be praying often for you and for your baby. I am so sorry you are facing this situation.

Aly sun said...

Move baby, move!!!! That is all I can think of to pray. You are in my constant prayers.

alr said...

Did not realize the difficult options involved. =( Will continue keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

Anne said...

I will keep praying. I'm still hoping for you. Much love, A

Photogrl said...

Hillary, this is SO not fair.

Why can't this be easy for any of us? I'm sorry for what you are facing. And the options? Just like mine, a couple of weeks ago, none of them are what you want.

Praying for you and Dan. Big, HUGE ((HUGS)) for you both.

In like of this news, it's not important, but just so you know, I tagged you on my blog.

Janet said...

Still praying for you, Hillary... asking for your miracle.

Cass said...

oh hillary - i just had a little cry for the anger and the terror you must feel. and rightfully so.
what to say which is sufficient? i hurt for you and wish ... wish so much.

thanks for telling us so we know how and what to pray.
love to you.

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. Our hearts are with you. I really hope the specialists can give you some better news and some hope. HUGS! Let me know if you need any help with anything. Marcia

The Atkins Family said...

So if ever there was a time for God to make his presence known in your life, this is it. I will pray he is obviously present and you feel the Holy Spirit all the time. I can't imagine how scared you must be. I'm sure that Dan is feeling the same way. Praying...

glenn said...

Hillary, I'm angry with you! I don't understand God but I know His ways are bigger than our ways...I pray today you feel his love and peace and can have confidence for next steps as they come. I too am praying for your miracle! Jenn

Katie Rose said...

Hi Hillary, I know you don't know me, but I found your blog through Alysun, Im praying for an absolute divine miracle in your life. Jesus I pray for peace and rest for Hillary, and her family, I pray for this precious baby that you would have mercy and heal this situation... Lord you are GOOD and I ask you to show your goodness to Hillary and this baby. amen.
-I'll continue to pray. -Katie

Nico & Meg said...

Hillary, I am so sorry. This truly is not fair. It doesn't make any sense and I don't understand...why you? I will pray for a miracle. I know God can move that baby! Loving you and praying for the consult and decision. Love, Meg

Elizabeth said...

My heart hurts for you, Hillary. I will continue to pray for you. ~Elizabeth

Kelleigh said...

I'm so sorry, Hillary. I will be praying for a miracle! I'm believing God!

Kevin, Jennifer, Hana & Alaina Norman said...

Hillary, I am scared for you and the baby too. You have no idea how much I admire your strength & faith throughout this journey. Continuing to pray for you, Dan & Russell.

Andee said...

Hillary, I pray that you will feel evry petition being offered up on behalf of you and your baby and your family. I am so sorry you have to face this, just know you aren't facing it alone. From the looks of it, you've got a pretty strong army pounding on heaven's gates for you.

Linds and Manda said...

We are praying for you.

Choco Girl said...

You are being prayed for! You are on my mom and dad's fridge as a reminder to pray. We love you Hill!