Monday, January 19, 2009

"Non-viable"

I had a sinking feeling this morning when the pregnancy test I took only resulted in a faint line instead of the bright pink line of Saturday morning. I've ridden this ride too many times to know what that indicated. My bloodwork this morning only indicated an hcg level of 6. Not 60, not 600. Only 6. An hcg level of 100 is desirable at this point, but a 6 is a slap in the face.

Dan was at Costco today and bought flowers and a bottle of red wine. Glad to have them both.

I don't know where we go from here.

Tomorrow, the 44th President of the USA will be sworn into office: the same man that will mandate and promote embryonic stem cell research. God help this nation.

18 comments:

glenn said...

Hillary - our prayers are with you. I am thinking of you...sure is hard to understand God's plan sometimes. My heart is breaking for you.

Grad3 said...

There are no words of comfort that I can offer-- just understanding.

~Sending warm supportive hugs and prayers~

Aly sun said...

I am frustrated and my heart is aching for you. I am also crying out to God for answers for you soon. So sorry dear friend.

Elizabeth said...

I will continue to pray for you, Hillary. This is so hard to understand. I am so sorry.......

Cass said...

I am so, so, so sorry.

C. Beth said...

Oh, Hillary--I am so sorry that you lost another precious one (because, yes, each life is SO precious!) I will pray for you & Dan.

It's only happened to me once but I definitely remember the awful feeling of getting a negative digital test after having positives for 3 days. I wish you didn't have to go through this again.

Annie said...

I am so sorry to hear this :( My thoughts are with you.

Melissa said...

That's sad news, Hillary. I don't have any words of advice for you, but just take to heart that you and Dan are on my heart and I pray that an answer will be revealed to you very soon.

Choco Girl said...

Oh Hillary! I'm so sorry..I don't know what to say..I wish I could give you a hug and share the wine with you right now. I wish I was there or you here. I'll talk to you later.

Choco Girl said...

And I forgot to say, even though it's been said before, your husband is the bomb. I hope that I meet someone just as wonderful when that time should come.

Anne said...

I'm sorry Hillary. Continuing to pray for you, as always.

Fie upon this quiet life! said...

I really wish this would have worked out. I'm so sorry and so sad for you. I hope you can give yourself some down time and let yourself heal. It's tragic facing these losses. Your courage and willingness to try, despite the heartache and disappointment, has been absolutely inspiring. There is nothing wrong with you. Please don't blame yourself. Let me know if you need anything! Hugs! Marcia

Stacey said...

Hey Hillary,
I just saw this post. I am so sorry. Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers. I know that there are just no words for a time like this, but I'm here if you need a listening ear.

BagMomma said...

I am so sorry. You are in my thoughts.

Photogrl said...

Hillary...I am so, so sorry.

I know that there is nothing I can say that makes any of it better, but know that I'm thinking of you and Dan.

Big, huge ((HUGS)) for both of you.

Polly Gamwich said...

Hey Hillary, I just wanted to say again that I am so sorry. I'm glad you have the wine.

:(

MamaSoon said...

I am so very, very sorry. Life isn't fair. I am so glad your sweet husband could bring you 2 forms of comfort.

Kristi said...

I know it's late but I'm so sorry. As you know, there really are no words that hold the intensity of what I want to say. ((hugs))