Moving On... to Maisy

If you don't know who Maisy is, then you are definitely behind the times. Russell loves these two books and we read them at least 15-20 times a day. I'm not exaggerating. I found the first one (top) in a discard pile at the library in my parents' town. The second one is courtesy of the local thrift store. It is a 'lift-the-flap' type of book and one flap has been torn off by the previous owner but Russell don't care. We've read these so often that I recite the books to him while we are driving and he is fussing in the back seat (yes, probably because I forgot his cup or snack). It really helps his little disposition. And mine;-)

Failed Hope

I’ve thought about how to compose this blog entry but nothing eloquent comes to mind. Last weekend we found out we were pregnant. Pregnancy #5. One live birth, three failed pregnancies…no, now that would be four failed pregnancies. I had called the doctor’s office in good faith that this pregnancy would succeed. I had to call back on Friday to cancel the prenatal appointment and reschedule a consult, instead. I was taking the progesterone supplements in hopes that they would assist my body. That and prayer. Neither seemed to work.

Easter weekend turned out differently than we had planned. Cousin Maria called and cancelled their plans with us due to colds in their home. We had decided to cancel as well since I didn’t have the physical strength to host. Sunday was quiet for us. I helped with childcare at church but then came home. I needed the time to be alone and not in the midst of happy Easter-morning church goers. Dan had laryngitis so he was out, too. I thought that after having previous miscarriages, the mourning would be easier. It isn’t. Maybe it gets harder because of the failing hope that ‘next time’ will be successful.

In my Bible study on Thursday morning, I learned that as Daniel was being sentenced to the lions’ den, he didn’t panic (do the wrong thing) or be paralyzed (do nothing). He prayed. How timely that lesson was. “…Then the men went as a group and found Daniel praying and asking God for help.” Beth Moore pointed out that had Daniel been given the option to endure the trial once again, he probably would have done so, in order for God to be glorified. Daniel was at least 80 years old and going strong.

Another scripture that has come to our attention is Psalm 127:1-3

“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.

Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.

In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat-

for He grants sleep to those He loves.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him.”

When we lose each pregnancy, my first thoughts are, “what did I do wrong?” Did I eat warm sandwich meat? Did I exercise too hard? Did I not drink enough water? Did I not pray enough? Is God angry with me? “In vain” seems to fully describe my feeble attempts to fix the problem. Drink de-caffeinated instead of regular. Swallow more omega-3 pills. Don’t lift anything heavy. Earn ‘brownie’ points with God.

Our prayer-board in the kitchen has a long list of pregnant friends and their due dates. It pleases me to write due dates beside lonely ‘couple’ names: friends that have struggled as well for one reason or another. God is working. He is answering prayer. I like seeing the pregnant moms I know, with their growing bellies and knowing that each pregnancy is a miracle, for each woman will only carry but a few times in her life. I am happy for them. I am sad for me.

I know it is cliché in the Christian realm to say, “I’ll pray for you,” but I know we have many dear friends that do uphold us regularly. To you, we earnestly ask that you would intercede on our behalf and pray for:

1. God’s healing of my body and our saddened hearts.
2. God’s wisdom for the doctors to know how to proceed with future treatments and procedures.
3. That we would invest in the ‘talent’ God has given us: Russell. His soul is precious and we need godly wisdom to raise him for God’s glory.

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Pre-Easter Egg Dippin'

On Thursday, after morning Bible Study, my friend Lisa invited us over to dye eggs with her son Jack (right). Friend Jen came as well, with her son Owen (left). We told Lisa she gets the "Mom of the Month" award for daring to try a craft that involved food coloring and clean clothes. I am not a craft/art-orientated mom but if Russell likes it, I'll have to learn! Thanks, Lisa!!

The colour should come off their hands by age 18;-)

The Difference a Year Makes

The above pictures were taken in March 2006, March 2007, and March 2008. What a difference! We still are taking our daily walks to the park but now Russell can point the direction to walk. The little kid knows when we are trying to 'cheat' him out of the park. His vocab is slowly increasing but isn't saying phrases (for a yellow bus, he'll say, "yellow" or "bus" but not both). We spell a lot of words so he won't understand us and I only watch TV when I feel like fighting Russell over PBS vs. Oprah. Yes, times have changed, but it keeps getting better!

Raggedy Ann

When I was at the thrift store yesterday (50% off day!), I found an almost-brand-new conditioned copy of Raggedy Ann and Andy. I bought it in hopes that one day we'll have a daughter who will appreciate it. I also found a Thomas the Train book that teaches a child to tell time. Russell loves clocks, so it was a hit!!!

When I got home, I pulled this Raggedy Ann cross-stitch piece out of my closet. I had started it when I was pregnant with Russell but put it away when we found out we were having a boy. After scanning the piece (it had been over 2 1/2 years) to see what needed to be done, I was surprised to see how little was left!! After spending a few hours yesterday and today, it is done.

I'll wait until Michael's puts another 50% off coupon in the paper, since I like their framing, but it is quite expensive. I'm glad there was so little to complete on the piece. Cross-stitching is hard on my neck and back so I probably won't be doing another piece for a few years. Besides, with Russell, there isn't much time to sit quietly;-)

The Perfect Saturday

For the first time in over a month, we have nothing scheduled. The only 'must-do' today is for Dan to buy/install a chain lock on our front door. Russell can open the door and leave. And he does. I'm going to scrapbook- I just finished Russell first birthday pictures. How would you spend the perfect Saturday?

To Tucson and back

We left the Bay area on Saturday and flew to Tucson for the long weekend. There are no non-stop flights on any airline (with exception of an early morning United flight) to Tucson, so the supposedly 2hr flight turns into 3-4 hrs. Our Southwest flight touched down in LA to pick up more people and continued onto Tucson. The short stop in LA confused Russell when he saw others getting off and he had to stay on the plane, so he threw a tantrum and cried the rest of the trip. I now warn the person that sits in front of Russell's seat that he will kick the seat and I can only do my best to stop him! Happy travelling! (Alysun, how did you get to Africa with a 2yr-old????!!!!)

Once we got to Arizona, Dan's dad picked us up. We spent Sunday morning at a mini-zoo (2 lions, 1 tiger, 1 turtle, 2 baboons, ducks, 1 polar-bear, 2 giraffes, a couple other little animals). It was a good experiment and proved my theory right: Russell doesn't care for the animals! He much rather enjoyed running up and down the wheelchair ramps and climbing the stairs and playing with the ceramic water-shooting frog. We'll wait a little longer before spending the money on the San Francisco Zoo.

The father in this picture had his two sons with him and both of them were autistic. He was so patient with the boys and they were so well behaved. We kept running into them as we walked thru the zoo.

Lone Mr. Turtle.

Nowhere close to Africa but maybe someday!

Russell and his Grandpa.

After we visited the zoo, we went across the street and Russell played on the play-structures. Supposedly, the Colorado Rockies were practicing (see below) in the adjoining field. The Padres' were in town as well but we didn't see them.

We came home on Tuesday afternoon, very glad to be back.

Finally- an update!!

On our trip to Victoria last month, Russell was a true trooper. The weather was cold (we forget how cold is cold) and it snowed a little. Russell missed Dan and he was so excited to see him when we returned. My mom came back with us (!!) and her help on the return trip was priceless. We had boarded the plane in Seattle but had to deboard and 1 hour later, reboard another plane, due to engine problems. I am glad the mechanics were doing their jobs but to awaken a sleeping child is NOT fun.

Pictures from our time in B.C.-

Barney!!!!! He loved Aunt Candice's 'white elephant' gift/poster. Don't throw anything out- it could be used in 6-8 years;-)

My Mom make a yummy cake. Check out the 3 minute video for 'live' time.

Russell's 2nd birthday in B.C.

One piece of cake + 1/2 a candle= Russell's birthday. He picked up and ate the candle since it was covered with chocolate frosting. Of course, the candle was tasteless so he didn't mind;-)

When we got home, I made a carrot cake with gooey cream-cheese icing. We stuck 'Thomas' trains on top since I have no decorating skills. It went over big! (The other pictures we took this evening were poor due to the inside lighting.)

The weather the last two weeks has been a glorious relief from the rain and wind! We were so glad the weather was nice when Mom was here. We were outside every day. On Friday, we went to Half Moon Bay...

Showing Little R the flowers...

Timeless picture.

The waves were HUGE and the surf was high, so no walks on the beach this time.

I dropped Mom off at the airport on Saturday morning, and when I got back home, Russell was looking for 'Mum-mum'. He really enjoyed Grandma being here for a whole week!!!

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I haven't posted in almost a month. I usually post during R's nap times since that is the only time I get to type more than one sentence without being interupted. Lately, I've been reading Jane Austen's Mansfield Park -a definite classic. No speed reading here. The English is a little old (choppy, compared to today's English) and if you 'skim', you'll miss the details. My only reading time is also at R's nap time so I've chosen to read instead of write. (No surprise to those who know me!)

I've been attending a new Bible study group on Tuesday mornings at the church. We've started Beth Moore's study of Daniel. God's Word is truly living and active when I read/study Daniel. Daniel and his three men were disciplined and devoted- true examples of God's own. I am in a group with women I don't know so it has been a good way to 'break out' of my comfort zone and engage in new relationships.

Speaking of other ladies, our church continues to reflect the trend as "the only Western nation to have a rising birth rate." There are lots of preggo mamas and newborns appear each month. This is so wonderful but sometimes (okay, often), it is a reminder of what we're going through. Most days are okay but some days just are very difficult emotionally. Russell is a wonderful little boy but when he throws his tantrums and we have our 'battle days' I wonder if I could even handle more than one. On these days I feel like a failure as a mom. Dan is an awesome husband and partner and is so encouraging and helps me with the discouragment.

In the Beth Moore study, she says that "tests/trials will burn the fake out of you!" Yes. Yes. Yes.

January Hum-Drum

I wish I could say all has been quiet and peaceful here, but no such luck for this past week. Now that Dan leaves for work about 7:15-7:30am-ish, Russell has been throwing tantrums as Dan leaves. He wants Dan to play with him and hates to see him go. Dan used to leave for work about 5:30am so it wasn't an issue. In addition to the tantrums, Russell has also been quite clingy, wanting me to carry him around the house, to the car, and out running errands (mail, Target, etc.). He also cried when I left him at the church nursery on Thursday- a place that he usually loves. Hmm. Since Dan has been home over this long weekend, Russell has been his usual, charming self. On Sunday, when we got to the nursery, Russell ran into the room so quickly we didn't have a chance to 'label' him with his associated pager number. Yeah! I'm hoping tomorrow morning when Dan leaves that he'll be okay.

Next Monday, the 28th, Russell and I will be flying to see my parents. We'll be there until Saturday, the 2nd, and then my Mom is coming back with us to stay for a week! Yeah! I hope the weather picks up because we have a little place and the fun is being outdoors.

The other trip we have planned is to see Dan's parents over the long weekend in February (16th-19th). Since we fly a lot, we wanted a better way to travel with Russell. I have wanted a 'Sit & Stroll' Carseat for a few months but they retail at $250 so that wasn't going to happen. Last week I found one on Craigslist and Dan went to check it out. Yeah! Now we have one more piece of baby-stuff to store;-) I will pat myself on the back and say that I do give bags of stuff to the GoodWill, and other items I want to keep, I lend out to friends with young children. We only have a carport so anything to be stored must be somewhat important.

The last couple of Sundays, the pastor has been speaking on the Parables of Christ. This Sunday, the key verse was, "The last shall be first, and the first shall be last." (Matt. 20:16) What this meant in my childhood was that the first person to race to the front door of the house after arriving home from church would have to stand aside until everyone else had gone in. I suppose it wasn't too different from the parable Christ told about paying the workers of the vineyard the same amount of money for unequal amounts of labor. The laborers were graced to accept the work and pay the landlord had for them until they looked at the other workers and became envious and discontent. Needless to say, it is so easy to compare ourselves with others that are in our lives. Whether lifestage, health, personality, home (biggie for us), wealth, or cooking abilities, we are only unsatisfied when we take our eyes off God and what He has done for us, and instead, compare ourselves to others. Hmm. This will be an ongoing trial, I think.

Well, that is all for now. Happy MLK Day!

The Blue Washcloth

When I start to make supper (about 5pm) Russell thinks it is instantly time to eat. He says, "eat! eat!" at the top of his lungs as he attempts to climb into his booster chair. Since even a tired mom can only take this for a few minutes, I start to get annoyed and try and divert his attention away from food- not easily done in our little place.

When this was happening on Tuesday evening, I was about to confine Russell to 'room-time' in his crib with his toys. I had reached into the linen drawer to get a washcloth when I looked down and saw a newly laundered blue washcloth stuffed into the drawer. My 'mommy-heart' melted. We (yes, Russell LOVES laundry and he helps) had done a load of laundry earlier in the day and I had not finished putting it away. I suppose at one point, Russell had put the washcloth in the linen drawer like he has seen me do many times before.

When Dan asks what Russell does all day, I tell him that Russell is my shadow. He is always two steps behind me. I guess he is learning more than I am teaching him...

Junk Mail

With exception of the month of December and all the lovely Christmas letters, cards, and pictures, most of the mail we receive is 'personalized' (i.e. personally addressed) junk mail. Yup, all the credit card applications (at least 5-6 per week), catalogs (I haven't ordered from Victoria Secret in years), and solicitations (especially the Christian non-profits). So, enough is enough. When we received a letter from the post master that our box was too full and we'd have to order a large post office box, I was/am on the war path. We will not pay for a larger box to accomodate all the junk mail.

Last fall, Dan and I listed our SSN's with the Opt-Out credit list and that has helped a lot but we still get some offers. Each time the mail comes, I sit on the couch and watch Martha Stewart and have the phone to my ear as I call the 800-numbers associated with the recently received mailings. I've found that even some companies have options listed in their menus for discontinuing magazine mailings. If they don't, I call the 'order' line and get direct, prompt service.
The recent January issue of MS Living also has an article about junk mail. The tips are listed:

1. "Opt out"- when you join a club, register for a conference, etc., tell the organization not to sell, trade, or rent out your contact info- especially financial institutions.

2. "Donate anonymously"- at http://www.networkforgood.org/ . The group will send on your donation but not your name and contact info.

3. "Wary of warranty cards"- if you must mail them in, only put on your name and address and facts about the purchase. Most warranties don't work anyway, so don't bother!

4. "Credit cards"- go to http://www.optoutprescreen.com/ or call 888-567-8688 to end the offers (5-years or permenently.)

5. "Cancel them"- go to http://www.catalogchoice.org/ to search and select the catalogs you no longer want to receive. Or call the 800-number on the magazine.

So, here is to a new year of decreased junk mail. It takes a little time out of my day but since I'm only watching TV anyway, it's not too painful;-)

Christmas 2007

We started our Christmas week with a stroll down one of the nicely lit streets on the Peninsula. The word 'decorated' doesn't even describe these homes... maybe the name "Griswald's" does! Most of the homes are beautiful but there are some owners that just stuck everything they could outside on the lawn;-)

During the 6-week show, this owner spends $4000 on his home and the adjoining home, also of which he owns.

On Christmas Eve, we co-hosted an evening dinner, complete with turkey, trimmings, and tiramasu. We met a new couple that our friends had brought with them. The six of us had a wonderful evening and Russell was a saint, playing on the floor quietly with his toys. Yeah!!

The next morning...

On Christmas morning, we (yes, us) opened Russell's gifts. Maybe next year he'll comprehend all the unopened gifts. Andrea had his name in the 'name draw' and gave him two Fisher Price trucks:-) Dan's parents had sent the FP airplane, so the set was complete! I was surprised to see that the toys came complete with batteries.

Russell and his gifts: three new Thomas trains, three Matchbox airplanes, and the FP toys. (Not shown: Russell's huge Thomas the Train play-house. See video below...)

Finally, it was our turn:-) I received much needed shoes and Dan bought me a gorgeous coat. Dan used the money sent by parents/grandma to buy something for his computer...

After opening our gifts, we headed out to Lodi to visit Dan's cousins. Maria had her family in town so there were 9 adults and 4 children (aged 1-3). It was a full household but we were so grateful to our cousins to open their hearts and home to us. Russell loved the little tree and the red chair...

We stayed overnight in a hotel and enjoyed the next morning with Jon and Maria. After lunch, we headed home and back to our little place.

Since we didn't leave town this year, it was a nice and restful break. Dan starts his new job in two weeks and he needed a quiet vacation. We antipicipate the New Year and all the adventures ahead with a 2-yr-old little boy! Hope your holidays were enjoyable and that you have more memories to smile over:-)

Christmas Home Video 2007

Christmas 2007

This is a 6 minute video of our Christmas morning. You can scroll through the 'time bar' to fast-forward the video. Included: Russell opening his toys from Andrea, his grandparents, and playing in the used wrapping paper.

Prepping for Christmas

Dan and Russell- wires and more wires!

Even in 37F temperatures, this boy needs his walk.

We opened Russell's present from Aunt Bev and Uncle Kurt early! Russell loves skipping on it. He will learn to jump on it eventually.

I remade the Chewy Molasses Cookies after I realized that the recipe read '1/2 sticks of butter' and not '1/2 cups of butter.' Oops. It is a wonder I have a chemistry degree! I knew Martha couldn't let me down. I also made the two Swedish Tea Rings:-) I started baking them annually in high-school but I haven't in the last few years, so it is nice to be back in the baking game. I don't bake bread except for the rare occasion.

Signs of the Season

Here is a list of some 'Signs of the Christmas Season' that I've noticed:

1. Vastly overstocking of celery, yams, and potatoes in Safeway.
2. The UPS driver towing a U-Haul with his UPS truck.
3. The FedEx driver driving a Budget rental truck.
4. A small-ish tree missing from the park (yes, the stump is still there!). Someone is a little cheap and dishonest!
5. No parking spaces at the post office.
6. Hearing the same Christmas song on the radio more than three times in one day.
7. Receiving many anticipated cards/letters/pictures from friends and family.
8. The empty rack of egg-nog in the grocery store.

There is so much to notice in everyday life:-) All it takes is a little observation!

2007 Cookie Disaster

Last year, I made MS' Chewy Molasses-Spice Cookies and they turned out perfectly- good enough to share with my neighbor. Now, for the second time this month, these cookies have flopped- literally. I even tried refrigerating the dough before baking. Obviously, that was no help. Although I am disappointed, I have two men in my life that will not be. Russell kept circling the cookies and saying, "Eat! Eat!" And Dan always likes something to snack on at coffee time. I'll try making this recipe once more before Christmas morning, and if it sinks again, that is that. I'll use less butter, I guess...